Sunday, June 22, 2014

Louder Than A Bomb

A MIC
A STAGE
A PEN 
A PAGE




By turns hopeful and heartbreaking, Louder Than a Bomb follows the fortunes of four Chicago-area high school poetry teams as they prepare for and compete in the world's largest youth slam.

Sunday, June 8, 2014

The Guy With The Unusual Voice


 I love this freakin' commercial, it make me think of the movie "Wag the Dog".  De Niro asks the perfect question "Why does the dog wag its tail?  Because the dog is smarter than the tail.  If the tail were smarter, it would wag the dog."  Wag on DM! Wag on!  

All the great stuff I learned about Mr. Mutombo is curtsy of  Thank you Max Blau. (I read the article twice it was that fun.) 

Sunday, June 1, 2014

Mewlana Jalaluddin 'Rumi' - Poet Extraordinaire

Two Friends

A certain person came to the Friend's door and knocked.
"Who's there?"
"It's me."
The Friend answered, "Go away.  There's no place
for raw meat at this table."


The individual went wandering for a year.
Nothing but the fire of separation
can change hypocrisy and ego. The person returned
completely cooked,
walked up and down in front of the Friend's house,
gently knocked.
"Who is it?"
"You."
"Please come in, my self,
there's no place in this house for two.
The doubled end of the thread is not what goes through
the eye of the needle.
It's a single-pointed, fined-down, thread end,
not a big ego-beast with baggage."

Sunday, May 25, 2014

Bizarre (But Not If You Love Body Art Like I Do)






"Human skin becomes a blank canvas for the world’s top body painters as artists from 45 countries compete against each other in Pörtschach, Austria this summer.
The World Bodypainting Festival, this year held from 29 June to 6 July, celebrates the unique art of painting directly on the human body – with models transformed into head-to-toe masterpieces, depicting anything from alien-like appendages to fruit-like faces.
The competition takes place across multiple categories, including sponge paint, airbrushing and face painting, all featuring different techniques and materials to achieve the transformations. In many cases, the models are fully nude, with every inch of their bodies covered in paint (think: a full-body tattoo). Other models wear over-the-top props such as outrageous headgear or wing-like attachments.
Even amateurs can get in on the action, with workshops and lectures that teach the basics of body paint (classes cover topics like “Airbrush for Beginners” and “Zombie Skin”).
A major highlight of the festival is the “Body Circus”, a giant party held on 2 July in the massive halls of Schloss Moosburg, a Gothic-style castle built in 1541. Visitors are encouraged to wear their best fantasy costumes, accented with extreme makeup and, of course, body paint. Stylists are on hand to amp up each costume and the party is spread out across three floors, with dramatically dressed DJs spinning songs on each one.
After the awards ceremony, the festival ends with the “Colour Splash”, another paint-filled party that gets as messy as its name implies. Attendees let loose, smudging paint all over themselves and others – an event that greatly contrasts the perfectly manicured looks curated earlier in the week."

Sunday, May 18, 2014

It Is The Bears!

This is an actual letter sent to a man named Ryan DeVries regarding a pond on his property.   It was sent by the Pennsylvania Department of Environmental Quality, State of Pennsylvania .   This guy's response is hilarious, but read The State's letter before you get to the response letter.

State of Pennsylvania 's letter to Mr. DeVries:

SUBJECT: DEQ
File No.97-59-0023; T11N; R10W, Sec 20; Lycoming County  

Dear Mr. DeVries:

It has come to the attention of the Department of Environmental Quality that there has been recent unauthorized activity on the above referenced parcel of property. You have been certified as the legal landowner and/or contractor who did the following unauthorized activity:    

Construction and maintenance of two wood debris dams across the outlet stream of Spring Pond.  

A permit must be issued prior to the start of this type of activity.. A review of the Department's files shows that no permits have been issued  Therefore, the Department has determined that this activity is in violation of Part 301, Inland Lakes and Streams, of the Natural Resource and Environmental Protection Act, Act 451 of the Public Acts of 1994, being sections 324.30101 to 324.30113 of the Pennsylvania Compiled Laws, annotated.

The Department has been informed that one or both of the dams partially failed during a recent rain event, causing debris and flooding at downstream locations..  We find that dams of this nature are inherently hazardous and cannot be permitted. The Department therefore orders you to cease and desist all activities at this location, and to restore the stream to a free-flow condition by removing all wood and brush forming the dams from the stream channel.  All restoration work shall be completed no later than January 31, 2010.

Please notify this office when the restoration has been completed so that a follow-up site inspection may be scheduled by our staff.  Failure to comply with this request or any further unauthorized activity on the site may result in this case being referred for elevated enforcement action..

We anticipate and would appreciate your full cooperation in this matter. Please feel free to contact me at this office if you have any questions.  

Sincerely,
David L. Price
District Representative and Water Management Division.

Here is the actual response sent back by Mr. DeVries:

Re: DEQ File
No.. 97-59-0023; T11N; R10W, Sec. 20; Lycoming County  

Dear Mr. Price,

Your certified letter dated 11/17/09 has been handed to me.  I am the legal landowner but not the Contractor at 2088 Dagget Lane , Trout Run, Pennsylvania .  

A couple of beavers are in the (State unauthorized) process of constructing and maintaining two wood 'debris' dams across the outlet stream of my Spring Pond.  While I did not pay for, authorize, nor supervise their dam project, I think they would be highly offended that you call their skillful use of natures building materials 'debris.'  

I would like to challenge your department to attempt to emulate their dam project any time and/or any place you choose. I believe I can safely state there is no way you could ever match their dam skills, their dam resourcefulness, their dam ingenuity, their dam persistence, their dam determination and/or their dam work ethic.

     AE797C5028864B96BC898F6C43F6D8E0@argePC  3BD776210955408CA6082C34A35BB675@argePC

These are the beavers/contractors you are seeking.   As to your request, I do not think the beavers are aware that they must first fill out a dam permit prior to the start of this type of dam activity.

My first dam question to you is:
(1) Are you trying to discriminate against my Spring Pond Beavers, or
(2) do you require all beavers throughout this State to conform to said dam request?  

If you are not discriminating against these particular beavers, through the Freedom of Information Act, I request completed copies of all those other applicable beaver dam permits that have been issued.  (Perhaps we will see if there really is a dam violation of Part 301, Inland Lakes and Streams, of the Natural Resource and Environmental Protection Act, Act 451 of the Public Acts of 1994, being sections 324.30101 to 324.30113 of the Pennsylvania Compiled Laws, annotated.)

I have several dam concerns.  My first dam concern is, aren't the beavers entitled to legal representation?  The Spring Pond Beavers are financially destitute and are unable to pay for said representation -- so the State will have to provide them with a dam lawyer.

The Department's dam concern that either one or both of the dams failed during a recent rain event, causing flooding, is proof that this is a natural occurrence, which the Department is required to protect. In other words, we should leave the Spring Pond Beavers alone rather than harassing them and calling them dam names.  

If you want the damed stream 'restored' to a dam free-flow condition please contact the beavers -- but if you are going to arrest them, they obviously did not pay any attention to your dam letter, they being unable to read English.  

In my humble opinion, the Spring Pond Beavers have a right to build their unauthorized dams as long as the sky is blue, the grass is green and water flows downstream.  They have more dam rights than I do to live and enjoy Spring Pond.  If the Department of Natural Resources and Environmental Protection lives up to its name, it should protect the natural resources (Beavers) and the environment (Beavers' Dams).  

So, as far as the beavers and I are concerned, this dam case can be referred for more elevated enforcement action right now. Why wait until 1/31/2010? The Spring Pond Beavers may be under the dam ice by then and there will be no way for you or your dam staff to contact/harass them.

In conclusion, I would like to bring to your attention to a real environmental quality, health, problem in the area. It is the bears!  Bears are actually defecating in our woods.  I definitely believe you should be persecuting the defecating bears and leave the beavers alone.  If you are going to investigate the beaver dam, watch your dam step! The bears are not careful where they dump!  

Being unable to comply with your dam request, and being unable to contact you on your dam answering machine, I am sending this response to your dam office.

THANK YOU,

RYAN DEVRIES & THE DAM BEAVERS

Saturday, May 17, 2014

McDonald's Provides Lunches


What's wrong with this picture?  The Golden Arches providing lunches at the annual conference of California Dietetic Association ... that's what!  Thank you Kiera Butler, Senior Editor at Mother Jones Magazine, for this insightful article as to why Ronald McDonald is always smiling in his photos.  Or should I say "Laughing behind our backs!"  I can just imagine the conversations that went on between the staff of CDA and McDonald's as they organized  the 2014 annual conference, "I'll scratch your back if you scratch mine."

In my opinion, McDonald's can be found on just about every street corner worldwide.  Wooing people not to cook at home and convincing us that a "quick fix" meal would be far more satisfying so we can get on with our busy lives.  McDonald's also hopes you won't notice what this thinking does to our wallets.  Whether you're single or a family, nutritionally and monetarily we are better off  spending at a grocery store or local farmers market with left overs for the next day to feast on.  There is the possibility McDonald's provided lunches to the CDA conference to show just how nutritionally friendly the menu is and that their menu items can be mainstreamed into people's diets.  Sadly, putting lipstick on pig still makes it a pig.  Or in this case junk food is still junk food no matter where it is served and to whom.

For additional reading on how food-companies-court-nutrition-educators-with-junk-food.

Saturday, March 1, 2014

I Didn't Win ... I Got This Instead (2014 Oscars Goodie Bag)

"It's as tight a race as ever at the Oscars this year, but even if actors such as Leonardo DiCaprio and Jennifer Lawrence lose in their respective categories, they can at least console themselves with the prospect of an $80,000 goodie bag.
Distinctive Assets, a Los Angeles-based marketing firm, has been offering "celebrity swag" for 15 years now to non-winners in the Best Actor, Best Actress, Supporting Actor, Supporting Actress and Best Director categories, according to a press release. Past recipients include Meryl Streep, Hugh Jackman, Helen Mirren, Amy Adams and Jeremy Renner."
So what exactly goes into this lavish bag of treats?
  • Wine-infused chocolates from Chicago-based Chocolatines.
  • 10,000 Halo natural pet food meal donations made to the loser's pet charity of choice.
  • Hydroxycut protein shakes, bars and gummies.
  • Swiss-made Slow Watches.
  • Betty Jane candies.
  • Acure Organics "cutting-edge" skincare products.
  • Jan Lewis bracelets and silk ties.
  • Cannonball wine.
  • A wearable camera by Narrative Clip.
  • Polar Loop activity tracker.
  • Bee Free Honee organic apple honey.
  • Blossom Blends "bespoke" teas.
  • Mace pepper spray gun.
  • Fine art from Gizara Arts.
  • Jitseu Handbags.
  • The LOADED book series.
  • Steamist Total Sense home spa system.
  • Aviv 613 luxury vodka.
  • Wrag Wrap luxury sustainable gift wrap.
  • Dosha Pops.
  • VETVIK "The Covert" leather iPhone case.
  • HISY Bluetooth camera shutter remote for Apple devices.
  • Mane 'n Tail haircare products and Conceived by Nature styling products.
  • The Green Garmento Gargantote and dry cleaning bag.
  • Le Petit Cirque aerial lessons.
  • Epic Pet Health electrolyte therapy.
  • M3K Beauty products for "exceptionally vibrant skin."
  • DrainWig.
  • Acupuncture sessions with Heather Lounsbury.
  • Personal training sessions at Huntley Drive Fitness.
  • Rouge Maple "best maple syrup you've ever tasted."
  • Slimware portion-control plates.
  • Coolway "no damage" Go Pro blow dryer.
  • Simon's Happy Pet Shampoo.
  • Wonder Glow Organic Lipgloss from Makeup Studio by Diane Capt.
  • Knit & Co. cable knit mittens.
  • Krystal Klear Water whole house water filtration system.
  • The O-Shot procedure by Dr. Charles Runels.
  • ARTAS Robotic Hair Transplant System performed by Dr. William Yates.
  • Max Martin luxury American-made shoes.
  • Deluxe vacation packages to the Canadian Rockies, Hawaii, Las Vegas, Mexico and Japan.
huffingtonpost



Friday, February 14, 2014

Happy Valentine's Day & A Poem

Never offer your heart
to someone who eats hearts
who finds heartmeat
delicious
but not rare
who sucks the juices
drop by drop
and bloody-chinned
grins
like a God.
Never offer your heart
to a heart gravy lover.
Your stewed, overseasoned
heart consumed
he will sop up your grief
with bread
and send it shuttling
from side to side
in his mouth
like bubblegum.
If you find yourself
in love
with a person
who eats hearts
these things
you must do:
Freeze your heart
immediately.
Let him—next time
he examines your chest—
find your heart cold
flinty and unappetizing.
Refrain from kissing
lest he in revenge
dampen the spark
in your soul.
Now,
sail away to Africa
where holy women
await you
on the shore—
long having practiced the art
of replacing hearts
with God
and Song.
Alice Walker, “Never Offer Your Heart to Someone Who Eats Hearts”